Revival of the Self

Along the way, I let myself take a backseat. Instead of going into the why and how of it, I love myself anyway. I forgive myself and owe it to myself to move forward with all of the lessons learned for a better life. Self love is very difficult to do when others depend on you a lot. As a mother, my son is naturally dependent on me. As a wife, I find myself struggling with codependency in so many different ways. I let myself fall back as secondary and tertiary when I really should have been encourage moreso to stand on my own two feet rather than needing a man to take care of us. I still did the best I could, as always, through the fog of misery in my brain. I wanted to hold onto every piece of light possible to be there for my son. I am grateful that the fog is now clearing. I am seeing the state of my "self" and the first thing I do is give myself a big hug: unconditional love. With that hug, I remember my needs, I sit to tell myself the story of my journey, I sit to listen openly, I give loving & safe space for myself at all hours. I do this for myself. As myself, I can heal my wounds, I can speak up about my needs easier each time, and I can feel alive. Added bonus: I am able to establish boundaries better with my son and enjoy quality time laughing at our moments together. It is true that the better care I take care of myself, the better life my son has to live with love. By loving myself, I model love for himself.