Fertility Awareness Method and Empowering Trust

 When all contraceptive options fail, when a women choses not to use pharmaceuticals, and when a women decides to understand her own cycle, there is what is called "Fertility Awareness Method" or FAM. A decade ago, literature was rare to find but now there are a plethora of resources of websites and books on the subject. I even went so far to order a tracking book from one of the few resources I could find from out of the States. I got myself a basil thermometer and into a solid tracking routine to best understand my body. Learning how to FAM is one thing, living FAM is another. Today I write this blog post to highlight an important aspect of FAM to discuss with women and that is: trust.

Trust plays an incredibly important factor in FAM. Trusting yourself, your instincts and your body. Then there is also trusting the person you have sex with to understand how FAM works. Consent becomes even more important in the FAM method. Communication is absolutely important whether it is with the goal to have a child or to prevent pregnancy. So, how can FAM be empowering, especially when the reality of energy dynamics in a relationship could certainly impact the women's ability to maintain her logs, become in tune with her body, and trust when she is ovulating and when she is not.

Women's intuition has taken a huge sideline over history. A women's intuition was once revered as being elemental by kings and other successful mates (male and female alike) - there is usually a women whose instinct is implicitly trusted to advise on important life decisions. Where does that start? Well, with trusting their own inherent instincts regarding their own bodily autonomy. It is no wonder that female advisors are often portrayed as vixens - they own their own power and are thus able to access and verbalize advice unlike any others. I have long wondered: how do they ever accomplish that?

In taking on FAM, studying hormonal cycles is like studying the moon and her moods. In knowing when you are ovulating versus about to bleed, it removes the toxic masculinity need to diminish a women's power with "oh, she must be pms'ing". Instead, with FAM, she can laugh because she undoubtedly knows better beyond what he will ever understand about his own body. For she understands the ebbs and flows of her own physical body, it is easier to harness that of the emotional body, tapping into the spiritual beauty of the cycles, and intellectually knowing how it all works. It is beautiful, that empowered trust in oneself.

When a women has experienced trauma, FAM can be intimidating to get know one's body as that trust in oneself has been robbed. So, in learning one's cycles, they are going from minuses into the plus side of understanding, which can be a drastic pendulum swing until it finally settles. I say this: be gentle, be patient and allow it to take time. Your thought today will be a memory when you look back years later - you will naturally evolve with practice. In trauma-informed FAM, I remind women that is now up to you to fully decide when to have sex - as it should be already. It is imperative to your health. It also means that communication in a relationship is a must and if ever that line is ignored, make it a relationship deal-breaker. Trust and communication are (even more) essential to lead a healthy reproductive life in your own power. 

Heck, they now even have an apps for FAM: there really is an app for everything.